I’m currently in the middle of reading a fantastic memoir, told by Marie Tillman. I’m only 75 pages in, but it has already made me cry like a baby more than a handful of times. If you are familiar with a man named Pat Tillman, a former Arizona Cardinals player and U.S. Soldier, than you would appreciate this book. If you are not, believe me, you will fall in love with this couple within the first chapter.
To quickly summarize where I am right now, Pat Tillman died in Afghanistan and left Marie a letter – hence, the title of the book. It’s a gut-wrenching story as she unfolds every detail of this tragedy for us to read, but I am already connected. I’m not sure if I’ve cried so much because of the actual story or because it has made me reflect on a lot going on in my life lately.
Marie and Pat Tillman had such a strong love for one another. It was an unbreakable bond, even during their years of distance. While I am in a relationship, currently, I have been wondering lately if it’s really “right” for me. Am I in it because it’s comfortable? And will I ever find that passionate, open, totally head-over-heels love that the Tillmans so obviously had?
I don’t think so. Or at least, I don’t think I do right now. I don’t feel confident that this is “it”…that he is the one. Which is a real shame, because as I am typing this up, he’s sitting at his desk just 5 feet away from me, completely oblivious to my current feelings. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. I want a love that I know will never break. I want someone to be so in love with me that he can’t help but show me in every little way possible – and vice versa, of course.
I don’t feel it. Not anymore. And i’m not sure if I ever did or if I’ve just been convincing myself because I’ve wanted this to work out for so long. But as I’m reading along, I realize that I have nowhere near what this couple had. I want it.
I really suggest picking up a copy of this whenever you get a chance. It’s a wonderful, easy read.
That’s all I have for tonight. Maybe someday, someone will actually read this silly thing…
The Letter by Marie Tillman